DEAR MALE FRIENDS

CAUTION: The nomenclature used below may not be friendly  those who do not comprehend Swahili.


 

The other time, I really put a bomb on my female friends. Due to public demand, I decided to do a post for the male counter parts.
Hi men! You really do a lot of things which piss ladies off. May be you may not know but at least get enlightened today. May be that’s why your single up to now.
1. WHISTLING AT LADIES
If you still do this crap, aki you are a goat. Who does this in the 21st century? This is so old fashioned. Never and never again whistle to a lady friend. If you do that to me, I would pinch your lips till it comes out of your mouth cavity. choke!
2. SENDING A FRIEND
Hello! if you cannot face me, do not dare send a friend . aki nitaku murder!! if you want my number, Man up and bring your self and confess your undying love. Please, tafadhali, asayi usitume rafiki yako
3. TAGGING A FRIEND ON OUR DATE
Wanaume please! if you decide to take me out, please do not tag a friend on our date. There’s something called privacy. Try and observe this rule
4. TALKING MONEY
At least for me, no man would impress me because he has money. No woman wants to feel as if you are buying her or doing her such a favor. Not to mention, talking about your money, cars, and houses wealth tells a lot about you. Your interest then is not in her but what you can do for her. So just make sure you don’t talk money every time you’re together.
5. TRYING TOO HARD
kama umekataliwa, please accept and move on. Some people swear to get a lady or even get their attention. You can’t force. kama hutoshi mbonga, hutoshi. When you go overboared and begin being creepy, you now look like a fool. Do not create a new persona just to please a lady; it may be hard to keep up.’ just be yourself’. If she turns you down, just move on.
5. The X factor
Aki please, tafadhali: usiniandikie xaxa and you expect me to date you. This is left for the high school friends and primary kids. A full grown man should text in plain English, Kiswahili or reasonable short forms. This is a NO! For me. I may not know how it sounds to fellow lady friends buts it’s a NO for nyar onyango
6. SECRET ADMIRER
If you still write this at the bottom of your message, bang your head in the nearest wall and stop that with immediate effect. If you happen to get my number from roam,
hello, this is Malcolm from kakamega . I got your number from a mutual friend and would like to meet and interact with you. it would be my delight. Thank you
What is so hard about texting formally or even calling? ati secret admirer. Secret admirer ni wewe na vitunguu. Style up dear male friends
7. LISTEN TO PUBLIC OPINION
“You will always be ugly to that bitch who hates you and a hoe to guys who can’t have you”
This is a common norm in our society today. Public opinion about who you are with should not make you drop them like hot charcoal. You might regret having dropped them, so use your brains when public opinion comes your way
8. FLIRTING WITH A BELLE IN MY PRESENCE
Hold your horse’s right there. If you do that be sure that you will loose me. This is a NO. Respect is two way. At least try and behave when am around. it wouldn’t hurt a single bit
9. TAKING LADIES OUT ON WIERD DATES
If am a football fun, we can go on a match. If I love FIFA, we can go play FIFA. If I skate, we can go skating together. But hell NO! Do not take a lady where she is uncomfortable and expect her to be willing to go with you next time. Learn her interests and be creative. You really needed this no. 9 guys
10. TOO MUCH CONFIDENCE
Last but not least, aki please do not be overconfident. Confidence is good but too much confidence, very dangerous. Just know, you can be turned down anytime, your money doesn’t matter, their are cuter guys than you out there and your not the only one trying to please me. I think this will make you more critical than give you overconfidence.

We love you men but please take note of these 10 annoying factors. They would be 25 but this 10 would be good for a start. if I have ruined your strategy for meeting lady friends, pole kwako. Just go back to the drawing board and be a man.
CHEERS!!

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